Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
