He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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