I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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