im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
