There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
