i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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