Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
