its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
