So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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