Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
