what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
