it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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