I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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