He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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