I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
