Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
