I wannas sexs uuuuu
He felt like a one man threesome
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
