i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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