Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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