I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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