No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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