haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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