Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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