He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize