There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
