well I can't set my house on fire every night
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
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I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
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your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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