you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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