Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
