I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
only you would photoshop your dick
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
