What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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