I'd wear matching sweaters with you
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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