you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
