i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Found your dick twin last night
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
