I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
