Rock
Scissors
Fuck
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
