his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
