Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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