I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
