i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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