Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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