Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
