ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
