I'm really into asian looking animals
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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