My nipple is on Facebook.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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