Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
