It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
