so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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