sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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