the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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