Just fell off a train. Bad.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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