So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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