glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
