so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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