My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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