I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He passed out mid-signature
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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