So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
