When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
