just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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