My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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