My liver just broke up with me...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
