at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
