Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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